Monkswood First XI versus Tondu Second XI
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A bright, sunny day with blue sky as far as the eye could see, the scene was set as the two captains walked out to the middle for the toss. Tondu skipper Tom Jenkins strolled out, the pub on the boundary mimicking the current state of his liver, still haunted by flashbacks of a night that led him to becoming the only person to ever be thrown out of The Star. The coin disappeared into the sun, El Capitan hoping the universe had a change of fortunes in store for him, as the coin bounced and danced to a standstill………life dealt yet another cruel blow. Monkswood decide to put Tondu into bat. Tom begins trudging towards his team on the boundary clinging onto the only positive being his current run of form was second only to the man who barely survived the blast of the Hiroshima bomb, only to get on a bullet train to go and make sure his family were okay in Nagasaki to then have another nuclear bomb dropped on him. Meanwhile, the latest experimental government drugs given to pilots to try and heighten all their senses seemed to come with the side-effect of the energy and excitement of a Border Collie. The skipper decided to try and utilise this, opening the batting with Raikes and Kieran Davies.
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On a wicket seeming dry at first sight, but moist to the touch, batting was not going to be easy on such an unpredictable track. Raikes started with intent, smashing three sixes early on, causing the home side to begin to worry. Sadly, Josh lost his wicket, being the first of a series of batsmen to give the opposition catches throughout the innings. Tondu’s very own Tony Stark came in at number three and didn’t disappoint as The Iron Man started knocking the ball around freely. Davies fell foul to a delivery taking his bail on its way through, with Ryan Owen joining Jamie Williamson at the crease. Having made himself triple captain for the week, the catch Jamie gifted the opposition seemed like he had a bike to ride, lake to swim or road to run elsewhere in some double booking. Callum Smeaton found himself trapped LBW without troubling the scorers, bringing the skipper to the middle. Owen gifted Trumper his first wicket of the day, bringing Leyton Williams out. With Williamson, Owen and Smeaton all falling for a single added to the score, Tondu found themselves 56-5. Tom Jenkins scored some quick runs before his voodoo vibes gifted Trumper another wicket. Leyton Williams playing six and out brought the man, the myth, the Market Street brawler……..Dan Thomas to the crease.
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Dan was joined by Josh Tatchell. Thomas was looking good with runs flowing before he experienced another episode of ‘T’s drinks break jinx’ and fell foul to the bowling of Trumper. Tachell was batting with the current plight of his team in mind, punishing the occasional full or short delivery. Both Tatchell and new partner Dai Matthews seemed to have the bowling attack sussed early on. With Tondu 96-8 when the pair came together, the aim was to just post a target they can bowl at. Sadly, as the day went on, with the track drying out despite a short shower, the batting conditions were only improving for the home side’s impending innings. Matthews and Tatchell weren’t done just yet and the pair put on nearly 100 runs in their partnership, Dai falling on his sword for 43 runs while Tatchell remained 38 not out at the end. Ellis Major added some quick runs to take the total to 200-9 off their 45 overs. With covid rules still in effect to ensure cricket can remain a safe place for all of those involved, the players enjoyed their personal picnics on the side of the pitch while debating whether the first team game had actually been cancelled or not and whose mum had just messaged them saying the firsts was off. Most of the half time talk was of Jamie Williamson’s bold triple captain call and all things fantasy cricket. T seemed to be feeling the pressure of all these people expecting points as he comfort ate kettle chips to take his mind off it while telling people how they were actually from Lidl’s.
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It seemed now possible that Tondu had the opportunity to claw victory from a seemingly unwinnable position at 66-6. Ryan Owen opened the bowling with an angry spell, once robbed where neither umpire nor batsman seemed to bare witness to the noise of glove or bat on a rising delivery through to the keeper* (* denotes Flakey and not an actual keeper. However Teflon was doing us a favour, apparently). At the other end, Dan Thomas still seemed to be feeling the pressure of expectation of fantasy cricket managers up and down the country. His first delivery pandering to their thirst for points with a wicket, utilising the old full toss at middle stump knee-high chestnut. Classic vibes. Thomas got three big wickets in his spell, showing why he features in so many fantasy teams, managers may need to police Bridgend town centre on Friday nights from now on to protect their investment. Despite the wickets, Dan was struggling to find his usual form and was bowling with all the regularity of the random setting on a bowling machine. As Thomas finished his spell, a silence fell over the ground.
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First of all, only the gentle bird song from the trees and the wind rustling through the leaves could be heard but soon even they fell silent. Not all heroes wear capes, but sometimes, one is born right in front of you. Stood at his mark, ball spinning from hand to hand, dead eye stare glazed over his face, we were about to witness something special surely. After his fantastic work with the bat, was this the moment a new superhero was to emerge? What would his name be? Captain…….? He begins his stride into the crease, new ball in hand…………………
Sadly, the only ‘captain’ involved in the next delivery was the one on The Waverley who had change course momentarily to avoid that brand new ball, which we never saw again. Thanks Dai, now Ryan’s crying! Rumours have it there is an impending £5000 fine on its way to Matthews due to the amount of time he spent in international airspace during these covid times. Just when Dai thought he had seen some big sixes, Callum Smeaton said, ‘hold my pint pal!’ Some say his bowling hit more trees than the entire history of lightening, some say deliveries required flight clearance from air traffic control but all we do know is that one actually hit the sun and dropped back into the field of play (almost breaking The Matrix) but the umpire was not having any of those shenanigans and signalled another six.
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El Capitan brought himself on to replace Smeats but seemed to have that same luck that led a series of events cumulating in flying through the air and out of the doorway of The Star. Between them Smeaton and Jenkins’ collective four over spell went for more runs than Mo Farah. The unforgiving small ground allowing even a mis-hit shot to sail over the boundary for six. That being said, it rarely happened as the Monkswood batsmen were really hitting the ball hard. A big shoutout to one of the heroes with the willow, Josh Tatch. Over the lockdowns, the man hit his training hard and got in some great shape. What some of the bowlers didn’t enjoy was his commemorating every stone he lost with a drop catch today. Congrats nevertheless Tatch. Coming onto bowl, Josh bowled some good lines, beating the bat often and finding the edge a few times. Left arm bowlers being such a niche, most batsmen struggle with a leftie in the groove. At this stage Monkswood were flying and hitting boundaries often. Ellis Major took a wicket in his short spell but the home team had the momentum to get across the line with ease. Emphasising the benefit of batting on a better wicket in the second half of the game, winning by four wickets.
The seconds will look to bounce back next Saturday at home to Radyr.
One to Watch:
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Josh Tatchell – Great knock with the bat, looked sharp in a brief bowling spell.
Tatch ‘Quote of The Day’……’watch him hit me for six now and win the game!’
Tune in again for the next instalment of ‘The Curse of Tom Jenkins’
Tondu 200-9 (45 overs)
D Matthews 43, J Tatchell 38*
G Trumper 5-26
Monkswood 201-6 (29.1 overs)
H Simons 70, J Weller 62*
D Thomas 3-28