With weather so biblical, rumours were Jamie Williamson was somewhere in South Wales building an ark, amazingly Ponthir claimed they were in some sort of micro-climate where it hadn’t rained like the rest of the country. Liam Woolls and Dan Thomas would have joined Islamic State if it had meant they did not have to play, with Thomas kitted out in all his Tondu rugby gear ready to go. With the first team game called off due to it being wetter than the front row of a Justin Bieber concert, the seconds begrudgingly set off on their trip. The whole way there the weather was like something from an apocalyptic film, with the WhatsApp group questioning the mental state of the host’s captain. After arriving at the ground, and with two umpires due to the rest of the region being rained off, it seemed as though the team had travelled to see what rain looks like in Ponthir.

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Finally, plans were made to start at 1.30pm with the overs reduced to 37 per team. The wicket had been covered along with the bowlers run up but due to the showers, it seemed a big toss to win. Tondu lost the toss and the home team decided to stick the visitors in. Some wayward bowling allowed opening pair Ross Evans and Tom Jenkins to get off to a rapid start. Jenkins fell, caught behind playing at a wide ball that ‘did a bit’ with Tondu now 52-1. Iestyn Williamson came to the crease and both he and Evans had to bat in some conditions that were more suited to rugby as the rain poured down. The pair had taken Tondu to 113-2 when Evans was caught behind. Liam Woolls came in like he was in a cricket remake of the film Speed. If his strike rate fell below 100 his car would detonate, and his insurance doesn’t cover explosions. Boy did he bat like a man who knew about that insurance exclusion.

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Woolls was caught, more than aware that his strike rate had dropped to 83.33, which brought our very own Frederic John Walker to the crease, Josh Raikes. Josh tends to score very slowly and focuses on defence rather than run rate, would be what I would be saying if today was ‘Opposites Day’. Iestyn Williamson got out in a scene which will no doubt duly appear on the ‘What Happened Next’ round of A Question Of Sport. Williamson came down the track to the bowler, missed the ball, the wicketkeeper caught/fumbled it and then went on to break the stumps with only his gloves, before then accidentally kicking the ball onto them. A paid professional umpire then gave that out. Wow. Just wow. We were square of the wicket as he would have been and it was plain to see for anyone who wasn’t suffering from cataracts that this was not out. Imagine my surprise that an umpire wearing Blue Brothers style shades in poor light and rain didn’t see what happened. Iestyn trudged off in amazement to what he had been given out for on 41.

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Dan Thomas came and went still enraged that he was not playing rugby for a solitary run. Layton Williams added 10 valuable runs before getting run out. Well done Leechy. Kieran Davies came in knowing it was vital that Tondu reached the score for maximum batting points. Scoring at a run rate of 87.5 (for anyone who questions his rate of scoring) Davies added the runs needed partnered by Clive Holmes. An apology goes out from the media team to Ellis Major who sadly experienced a ‘diamond duck’ at the hands of Davies. Backing up Ellis boy. In his defence he did slip when setting off as the rain was intermittent during the visitor’s innings, finally reaching 188-8 from their 37 overs. With most of the team over the chip shop at the break, the team knew they needed a huge performance from everyone to do something they hadn’t done for two months, bowl a side out. Ironically, the last team they did that against was, Ponthir.

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Tondu opened the bowling with angry Danny ‘Cashout’ Thomas. Boosted by an acca win, Thomas made his team glad he was nowhere near a rugby field. In a solid spell of 1-18, Danny ‘Cashout’ struck first with Josh Raikes taking a fantastic catch. Two things Josh Raikes knows is how where not to store mortar shells and how to take sublime catches. Timeless Clive Holmes struck next with a clean bowled dismissal leaving the hosts 56-2. Holmes soon struck again with Raikes at his tricks again. Class hands. With Ponthir 60-3 the game really could swing either way. The home side started scoring some quick runs and it took a fantastic direct hit by Dan Thomas to leave the score at 99-4.

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Layton ‘Flakey’ Williams covered some ground to take a great catch from Ellis Major’s bowling. The Ton were really holding all their catches today and taking some pearlers in the process. One thing that cannot be underplayed is the fielding of every one of the eleven men on the pitch. Constantly encouraging each other, staying focussed and putting pressure on the batsmen from the word go. At 118-5 and remembering the reverse fixture, the visitors knew the home team were there for the taking with their wagging tail. Major struck again, clean bowling Bollen for a duck. Butler went big again but Dan Thomas covered some yardage to take a fantastic catch on the run, giving Jenkins the scalp he craved. 119-7 Tondu knew they had their opponents where they wanted them, bloodied and on the ropes.

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lestyn Williamson took a tidy catch from Holmes, leaving Ponthir 130-8. Harold came in for the home team and showed pretty early on that he was going to either win the game or get out. Harold hit Jenkins for some big sixes, with Waller playing some fantasy cricket shithousery, throwing a catch from Jenkins over the ropes for six. Waller means business in fantasy league. Harold mishit one from Jenkins and Kieran Davies kept his eye on the spinning ball to take the catch. At 152-9, that was the wicket that won the game for Tondu as the dangerous batsman threatened to achieve their goal. Jenkins was bubbling now and took the final wicket trapping the batsman LBW. The joy and elation on the Tondu player’s faces were shown as they all congratulated each other and celebrated, putting distance between them and the bottom two with a 20 point maximum win.

 

Tondu 188-8 (37 overs)

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Ross Evans 45

Iestyn Williamson 41

 

Ponthir 153 all out (35 overs)

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Sam Harrison 31

Owen Butler 28

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Clive Homes 3-26

Tom Jenkins 3-39

 

One to Watch:

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Dan Thomas. Despite being fuming over the weather, Danny T bowled a top spell, setting the game up for Ton to tie the Ponthir batsmen down. He had a direct hit runout and took a class catch on the run, just pipped Josh Raikes to it who batted well and took two worldies.

 

Join us next week where we focus on the rise of Tom Jenkins from cursed captain to bearded flight risk.